I fell out with some friends and my life has been really low at the moment. I turned 13 about 2 months ago and everything is going so wrong. In about march everything went wrong. I started to self harm because my mum would wind me up. When she saw me doing it she carried on winding me up and calling me stupid but it just made me angrier and press harder with the knife on my arm. I haven't been to school since may because I'm literally broken. I think I have mental issues. One night me and my best mate fell out and i got so upset because I kept saying sorry but she wouldnt accept. The fall out was because she accused me of hating her because I couldn't go to her house one night. I thought it was stupid and got other people to talk to her but she just tells them she hates me and its better like this. I was so wound up and cut my arm and sent the picture to her. Her dad rang us and told me to have nothing to do with her, but I really couldn't help it. I think I'm mentally ill. The picture got shown to loads of people at my school and they all called me a psycho. I'm scared to go back to any school now. I've also become really emotional and cry all the time for no reason. I just can't control anything about myself. I get upset when I hear someone cough or when someone makes an eating noise. My foot starts moving in spazum and I can't stop it for about 5 mins. Theres a childrens doctor thats trying to find me a new school and I keep refusing to go because I am scared of school. I don't feel ready to go back any where. I am ugly and fat and really shy. The last time I was popular was in year 4 where I started middle school. I had moved to a different first school and by the time I rejoined my old school mates in year 4, nobody wanted to know me. One boy who has been bullying me ever since was the first one to point out that I was fat. I remember it so clearly. We were drawing listening to a story tape of 'The witches' and he called me fat. I said no I'm not, so he put his hand round the top of my arm and compared it to a different girl sitting near him and said look, yes you are. I've had no self confidence ever since. I just don't feel ready to be with other children again. What should I do?
Update:OMG YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME! MY EGO IS SMALL LIKE MY MIND AND MY LIFE. MY LIFE IS JUST NOTHING. HOW AM I MEANT TO HAVE EMOTION FOR OTHER PEOPLE WHEN THEY RUINED MY LIFE AND NOW I HAVE NO EDUCATION WHICH = BAD JOB. DONT TAKE A GENIUS TO WORK THAT OUT. AND WOULD YOU NOT FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF IF SOMEONE TORE YOUR LIFE APART?! READ MY BIT ABOUT MYSELF ON MY PROFILE. FEEL MY PAIN. I HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. STOP IT. YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE.
Update 3:To 'Are you cool?',
Phaaa, did you know that when your 13 you can legally sign up for this? Why don't you go and play on your scooter you immature idiot. Times have changed since the 20's. Kids don't have scooters. You would have to be a right spesh fu(ker to play on a scooter at 13 in england. go grow up. the kids these days are more mature than the adults.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
You're not psycho. You're 13.
You remember sex-ed and how puberty is supposed to make your body go through all sorts of strange changes - well the one part they really never hammer in is that you also go through mental changes as well.
Basically in order to make your body change it fills you to the brim with hormones. Hormones don't just change your body they also make your mind react differently. Remember a few years ago when you were say, 8 years old and things didn't seem near as important? You didn't have your hormones going crazy then.
Now you do - and worse, all your classmates do too. So they're going crazy (like your friend who just couldn't handle your not being able to come over, and then printing out your picture and showing it to everyone) and they're being mean and they're treating you badly which makes you cry which makes them act out more, which makes you scared to go back to school. (think of it like a bunch of crazy monkeys all jammed into a tiny room - they're going to tear each other to pieces for the lack of anything better to do! That's Grade 7-8 in a nutshell!)
The only non-normal thing here is that you're cutting yourself. This isn't a good activity, even if you're feeling sad or upset. This doesn't make you a psycho, though. It just means you're having troublefinding a good outlet for all those horrible hormones.
Consider getting a psychiatrist to talk to who may be able to help you through this time and help you find things that are better to do than cut yourself and worry all the time. I know your mom seems like she's just ragging on you, but she's probably just worried about you (and all her worrying is winding you up, and making you feel worse). Take my advice and lean on her for support. At least for now. Moms are pretty good for that!
When she does get to worrying aloud at you, just say that you understand. Even ignore her while she rants. She's just venting, a different way to cope than cutting, but it's all the same effect. When she's done you give her a hug and even request from her when she's in a non-ranty mood that you get lots of hugs. At some point you might even be able to request from her that she not worry aloud "so often" around you just so that you can have some peace. But you need to reestablish a relationship with her first - because if she's tearing her hair out she's not in a place to listen to YOUR needs.
How utterly outrageous! You will have to march in and inform them you've gotten visible the messages the landlord despatched in your daughter. You inform them that they made a mistake in treating an worker in any such topic and that if any one asks, you are going to be sending them to one more eating place! Then you call for the assess. Truthfully, you will have the daughter include you, however I realize if she is just too disillusioned to must see them. If the landlord isn't there, ship a letter. They could take a look at to irritate you through announcing she has to return through to decide on up the assess. You then say that that they had greater mail them out TODAY, or you are going to be calling the Better trade Bureau.
The name you have chosen for yourself sums you up; 'Broken minded girl'. Your mind is broken and you will have to fix it! The good news is that you can and you have to do it yourself, so you only need to rely on yourself. I would like to give you just three rules to follow to fix your mind, the rest you can add to yourself. Here they are;
1. Admit that you have been turning yourself into a victim and now you are going to stop ever feeling like people must feel sorry for you, ever again. This doesn't mean you can't get help, it just means you will help yourself as much as you can, to not act like a victim.
2. The reason you sent the photograph of your cutting was because you could not bear the pain of your world. You must feel the emotion that is coming up in you - let it pass through you - surrender to it any time it turns up in your heart. You will cry a lot at first but do not feel sorry for yourself - it is just the healing that needs to happen. Do not use crying to manipulate anyone, do it in private whenever possible. This is your time to grow up.
3. Admit to yourself that your ego has got too big and has too much power over you. You need to shrink it by not listening to voice in your head. Accept your mothers authority, no matter what she asks, you do what she says and you will be left with an ego you can handle.
Just start this way and reinvent yourself, don't try to be popular - start again - you are allowed to.
Good luck.
>> What should I do?
Go and see a psychologist. You're obviously having some sort of nervous or mental breakdown
But just be yourself and if people don't like you, then to hell with them. A lot of psychological issues are caused by trying to be someone you're not.
The self harm very much sounds like a cry for attention, especially since you sent a photo of it. Just take some time out to relax once in a while, you'll look back on your school days when you;re older and realise that none of it was actually that important after all
I am sorry that you are suffering. You should know that cutting is an addiction and it can be dangerous. You do it when you are stressed or angry. Cutting releases feel good chemicals called "Endorphins" but the relief is only temporary. Somehow you were unable to learn the healthy skills to help you deal with your emotions. You are not stupid, you are suffering and it isn't your fault. Talk to a teacher or a school counselor who can help you get the help that you need. This doesn't get better without help. Please don't let this continue any longer without getting the help that you need. With help you can learn the skills that you need to handle your emotions.
your 13 FFS what are you doing on here! go and play on your scooter