Sometimes, in a way, I feel the happiest when I feel absolutely terrible.
When I feel great, and everything is going my way, I can't help but feel depressed. When my life is an absolute shitstorm, and it seems like there's no hope for me, deep down inside it makes me feel good.
Do I have some sort of mental disorder?
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It may not be a mental disorder and just the way you perceive things. But to me it does sound like a mental disorder. It could be depression or bipolar. Sometimes people with bipolar get highs and lows, when you feel really good at one time which is called mania and then feel down at another moment, it can occur in cycles or last for a while. It could also be a personality disorder. If you know all of your symptoms then go to google and type it in, it will usually give you a website with a list of different mental disorders and personality disorders. Then from there you can try to think of what it may be, that is how I somewhat diagnosed myself with anxiety, depression, ADHD, and OCD. I had to go to a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with all of those! If you want to then you may see a psychologist too which can help you find out what issues are going on.
I would say you have some sort of problem going on there. Call a doctor and tell them your symptoms, you got some sort of chemical imbalance going on there in your brain
you are depressed dont kill urself I LOVE U too much