I'm a girl, Sophomore in highschool and since 8th grade I started feeling depressed. Alot of things have happened throughout this time. Lots of friends lost, breakups.. But even when everything's okay, something's still wrong. And it's the worst feeling in the world. I feel unwanted, hated, useless.. Like.. I should just die. I have suicide on my mind ALOT more than I think I should.. I've tried a couple times but never had to go to the hospital.. (more like refused, so my mom wouldn't find out.)
I have also started this addiction.... Cutting my wrists. It's NOT a sexual satisfaction.. But in honesty, I like seeing the blood, knowing I'm pyhsically hurt, it gets my mind off the other things. That also started in the 8th grade, only it's gotten worse, I've become less careful with it.. Not much as worried.. And it scares me. (All my friends know, and they hate that I do it..)
My mom just recently found out about the cutting and cried alot. I don't wanna ever let her know I've tried killing myself.. But what if I try again.. I can't control myself. I wanna get help but I'm not sure where to start. If I'm actually depressed or if this is all just in my head.. /:
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You can get medication for depression. But you will need to go to the doctor to ask about it. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe you should ask your family for support? Also, find something to do to occupy your time. Reading (however nerdy it sounds) help you escape to a different world for awhile. Find a new hobby, for me, when i ride my horse i forget about EVERYTHING else. its just me and him. You need to find something you love, and when you do you will know it. I really hope this helps, and please atleast try one thing! you are here on this world for a reason. <3
First of all, stop trying to kill and cut yourself. That's BAD. If you get too out of control you WILL go to the hospital and it is NOT fun there at all.
Second of all, you CAN control yourself. Your actions are under your control and because you are asking for help, that means that you don't really want to die -- more like you wish you could curl up in a corner and make the bad feelings go away forever, right?
You should see a psychologist for therapy. Sometimes you just need to talk out your depression for a while and it goes away, other cases are more serious (chemical imbalance in the brain) and require medicine. You need to find out what works for you. Once you do, you will get back on track and life will get better, I promise.
Keep your chin up and get some help -- I'm rooting for you!
(PS -- if you're religious, maybe get more involved in your religion? My church community helped me a TON in my times of depression.)
every days a new day stop feeling depressed . at your age it's alot of stress just try not to focus on it to much