Um I'm a 14 year old girl and I have low self esteem

If I'm honest I don't think I'm really fat but i know I should start going to the gym soon to avoid getting fatter or to try to get a proper body

I don't think I'm the prettiest girl out there but I don't wear any make up so I guess I could look better but the thing is I don't know how to get my dad to start letting me wear make up , normally girls ask their moms but mine unfortunately passed away when I was 12 so I didn't really care at the time and now my dad is all about trying to get me to feel confident naturally, I guess he's right too but it's hard because I'm a negative person and I'm constantly comparing myself and I'm never happy... But not just look wise

Lately it feels like I don't like my friends and I dot know what to do Im getting bored of them we dot have the laughs we used to

I have no motivation for anything, I'm not happy and I just feel like my life has a routine that I can't break and it's just so dull

I would make new friends and try to break the cycle but I'm just too shy and my main problem is me I don't know what to do...

Please don't be mean:/?