While this could be a little graphic subject for some, I'll try to keep it clean.
My brother and I are very open (maybe too much) and he told me something that kind of bothered me about his life and finding love again. Since sometimes he can be very lonely.
Even though my brother is an intelligent, good looking guy, I see him having trouble getting into a LTR.
The reasons are many. One major issue is that he has bipolar disorder that causes a lot of personal problems at times.
He's been divorced for 7 years. Last time he tried to have sex with a woman was about a year and a half ago.
He said he wasn't able to perform intimately b/c of his bipolar
He's gotten so use to masturbation for a sexual release that he's all but given up on being with a woman in a normal way.
And in the real world, most LTR don't make it without intimacy.
I'm trying to help him keep his options open b/c I don't want to see him lonely and single.
Is anyone dealing with a similar issue?
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Hi KJ
It is kind of you to write on behalf of your brother and don't worry - you did a good job of being tasteful and not too graphic.
A lot of meds that bipolar men take can interfere with sexual performance. The most common culprits are Depakote and the antipyschotics, also SSRIs and Effexor. A lot of docs these days prescribe antipsychotics instead of good old fashioned lithium for bipolar, but these drugs interfere with the hormone prolactin and cause ED for guys.
Lithium isn't known for this side effect, so that may be a better choice of med for your brother.
Also, there is a very circular effect where problems with intimacy lead to depression which leads to problems with intimacy, which causes more depression, and round and round we go.
Probably your brother should do 2 things - talk to a therapist about intimacy issues, but also check with an expert psychiatrist who knows a lot about bipolar and bipolar meds. Ordinary docs and even a lot of shrinks are not sufficiently expert to treat bipolar properly.
I took me a long time to get my own bipolar issues under control and to find the right meds but now everything is great.
Things will improve for your brother as well. Good luck to you both, Sarah
I struggled a lot after my last relationship but my current partner was and is great. He helped me to feel comfortable about every thing and in time I had very little problems. Some of the meds they use for bipolar can effect a man getting an erection so if that is the case he needs to get the med changed to one that suits him better. OH and tell your brother not to worry I am very happy now with 4 children there are lots of people out there that don't judge you just as that crazy person with bipolar and he will find someone real soon I hope. take care good luck
You should definitely tell your brother to see a doctor. Some bipolar meds may have sexual side effects, but his medical doctor should know that he is experiencing these side effects.
I hope it all works out well.
Good luck,
Dana (Counseling Masters Student)
The answer i can give is for him to see a doctor for that. I went through the same thing and plus post traumatic depression dealing with the war. The mind is a wonderful thing to study. Its just the emotion part in his mind has shut down. Trust he needs to talk because he has alot on his mind. It help me out.