A year and a half ago the affair between myself and a married male co-worker began. Both of us are married. And I'm starting to feel that he's being distant. I've asked him many times to end it with me if he doesn't want it to continue, but he hasn't said anything to me about that. Not sure what's going on with him.
I want to end it with him and work on my own marriage. Enough of this...I just want some thoughts surrounding how I should end the affair. Do I owe him a talk? Or do I simply ignore him? I don't think he'd show much emotion if I did end it with him face to face....I don't know how to do this.
And another question, if I may. When a married man is having an affair, do they go from one girl to the next to the next etc.? Is that possible? I'm wondering if he's being distant .. would that mean he's onto the next girl? Married, with kids, stressful job, one would probably assume that it would be too much work...just looking for thoughts please.
Atualizada:Thank you everyone for your fair responses. Working with him does make it difficult but I believe that I'm strong enough not to let this happen again with him. For me, this just happened once, he's my only ever affair. It makes me sick to think that he'd be going from one girl to the next. That does hurt, esp. since it lasted for so long.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Yes, good for you for wanting to end it! Sounds like a terrible situation on all ends.
Just talk to him and tell him it's not working out for you anymore and that you want to work on your own marriage. Also, don't worry about why he's being distant -- I do seriously doubt you're the only one he's sleeping with, and he's probably going to keep messing around with other people. He's a married man messing around on his own wife, so it's not as though he'd be "faithful" to you either.
One of the reasons why it's a good idea to tell your husband is so that you can get tested for STDs and make sure that you don't give him any. Who knows where that guy has been, and even if you used protection, there are diseases like HPV and herpes which can be asymptomatic at first and can be transmitted even with protection since they are diseases of the skin.
Good luck and I hope for the best!
well you should simply ignore him.
Remember: Once a cheater always a cheater.
Hes probably one of those guys who just uses women for his own sexual gain.
You should definitely work on your marriage. However, it would be good fi you could probably tell your husband about this. Being honest helps a marriage. I don't think you can just keep ths whole thing a secret and move on. Trust me. it will come back to haunt you in the end, and he will find out in a worser way. Do the right thing, yes you might have a family to think about, but hiding this sort of thing doesn't work out well in the end.
End it with him face to face, if you don't think he will show much emotion then it will probably make it easier for you. It is possible that he is going from one girl to the next, it is also possible that he was seeing multiple girls during his long affair with you, I would actually say it is highly likely.
You need to tell your husband, that is the decent thing to do. You can only work on your marriage properly if you tell him. He has the right to know about it. You cheated on him, so it should be left up to him what he wants to do - whether he wants to work on the relationship or leave. Everyone that is cheated on should be given that option.
Just stop talking to him stop looking his way he'll get the message could be that's what he is hoping for. Some men go from girl to girl but maybe he fell back in love with his wife that happens a lot it happened to my husband. He started having an affair with a co-worker I didn't know about. 8 months later he moved out into his own apartment I still didn't know about her yet. For 2 1/2 years this went on him and I stayed in contact we had a son together. We never stopped having sex and we would go out on dates I still did not know about her. His love for me was slowly coming back after 2 1/2 years he moved back home with me. For 2 whole days I was so happy then I started putting away the rest of his clothes and I found some female clothes and other things.of her things. That's how I found out about my husband cheating on me. She had planted those thing so I would found out about the cheating.
D. If you wan't to stay married DONT tell him about the affair. A husband is far less open minded that a woman may be as your dealing with his pride and self esteem and they are crucial to his make up. Your going to have to suck this up and deal with your thoughts. I believe you need to think objectively can you totally break off the relationship with NO chance of reconnection or repercussions while working with this man? will he try to heat things up anyways and cause problems at work? Most times this doesn't work and it gets back to your mates. getting another job may be needed or changing departments if possible.
End it!! Work on your marriage. Sadly there are many men who conduct their lives in this way and go from one to another etc. I have an ex who does this kind of thing and he says his wife hasn't got a clue about his cheating!! Horrible situation!
You should just end it and work on your marriage. But, first you need to tell your husband the truth. He needs to know.
Apparently he's already moved on to the next, so should you...better yet, stick to your husband and come clean.
If he dumps you, you can have all the single men you could ever want!
End the relationship.
Tell him it is wrong and you are sorry it ever happened.
HOE