I'm a 19 year old male.
I graduated from high school a little over a year ago, and since then I've felt like my life is over. I don't want to live or feel any motivation to keep living, but I don't want to die or commit suicide.
I spend most of my time sitting around at home playing computer games - I no longer gain any enjoyment from this and just continue with it because I can't see anything else that would be more exciting. Along with the computer game addiction, I've gotten myself into a bad habit of staying up until 4 or 5 in the morning and then not getting up until 2 in the afternoon. Since I work from 3-midnight on most days, the days that I do this are pretty much wasted and I hate myself for it afterward.
Almost every day, I make a commitment with myself to go to bed at a decent time and get school shopping and all the other things I need to do done, but I never do. It seems like there's always something to distract me, and I end up staying up late again.
My social life sucks. I go out with friends when they invite me over, but I really don't have much to say when I finally get out with them. I don't know if it's anxiety, a speech impediment, or what, but since I was in 9th grade or so, I've had a hard time choosing the words I wanted to use when speaking to people I'm not very comfortable around. Like, I'll forget what to call something or how I should phrase a sentence right after I'm about to say it and need to correct myself, making me look unintelligent or under the influence of something.
I'm starting college in a new city later this month, but I'm apathetic about it because I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I feel like I won't make any friends.
What should I do about all this, and how can I bring excitement back to my life?
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
talk to a psychologists bout it
Wow you sound exactly like me a few months ago. Except older and male.
You're depressed. But you're not the kind of depressed that needs harmful medications that doctors prescribe to make money to fix, you just need to talk to someone. I went through the same thing; apathy causes you to not want to do s**t, so you spend the entire day inside, and later see something on tv or online about people or your friends having fun and think about the entire day you wasted, and get upset. Then the next day, are once again apathetic and once again, don't do anything. So there's two things you can do that will help. The first thing is just force yourself to change the habit. Really, just go out, call someone, find something to do. Don't wait around for someone to drag you out of the house because IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Just because your friends don't think of you doesn't mean they don't care, but they probably don't think to call you. So call them, and even if you end up sitting there listening to them, you're still out. The trick is to get comfortable around people and you'll start being able to speak freely. You'll get used to them and know what to say.
The second thing you can do, which helped me a lot, is go to a therapist. Just someone to talk to and help you identify your problems and ease you out of this. They won't suggest medications.
Also, if you're dorming in your new school, try to become friends with your roomate or the people in your dorm. They'll become your best friends. New places and new people really do change your life, a lot.
I really hope things start looking up for you, it's really painful to feel like that.
hi you could be depressed, but also think you are really anxious about moving away , its a big step ,your speech impediment is more than likely related to this anxiety , i sometimes stutter wen nervous! try to enjoy time with ur friends its supposed to be fun not a chore! maybe go visit ur dr and discuss the social anxiety issue, you will be moving soon and u really want to go a to new college feeling confident, its a new milestone in your life,try research the new area as much as possible so you can start up conversations with college peers, this a great oppurtunity for you, try and enjoy it
best wishes
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