Both me and Hubby aren't religious and they know this.There was a huge divide between his Mormon family and us(the Grandmother and Uncles and Aunt were the worst of them).They even went as far as trying to split us up over it.We moved cross country due to family problems and work related,it was for the best for us.Now my mother father in law are visiting for the first time since everything 3yrs ago,and while there are still hard feelings I'm willing to try and forgive my mother in law and father in law to a degree.Keep in mind there was never an apology of any sorts.This isn't about a simple prayer as you can see.Hubby and I tried to work things through with them and they are emotionally not there and don't seem to get it/care,they just pretend nothing happened.I don't want to bring anything up to them about the past, its not going anywhere.But since this is our home and hubby agrees 100% with me, whats the best way to deal with the prayer issue that is much more than a prayer?
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It's your home - you choose what happens in it. If they want to pray they can do so privately. If they don't like that, then they can leave.
Let them know that you respect their values (even if you don't) and that you would appreciate that while in your home, that they respect yours.
I have gone through this very issue with my Mormon family and I remember it well. We also moved far away, but still had visits. In the beginning, I was so *$& angry about finding out that they and the church had lied to us our whole lives. We were trying to establish ourselves as independent adults and they would come along and make me feel like a rebellious kid again because I didn't live their way.
In the beginning, I only spent time with family because I felt I 'should', but eventually I decided that I wanted to have a relationship with them. It made me feel like a decent adult to treat them well. I personally like to feel magnanimous about the petty things they think they get away with.
I realized that they don't make me feel childish. I choose to feel childish. It is so much better when I decide to act like an adult with a weird family. Weird and kind of interesting. None of my friends have such an off beat background. Polygamous grandparents, whoa!
So now I treasure them all and react to them with humor and benign tolerance. Sure Mom, whatever. It took a lot of years to get here, but I really like having them in my life.
The best revenge has been being able to live a terrific, moral, successful life for decades after leaving. I raised kids that I am proud of and built a great life. It's a lot more satisfying than getting pissy over prayer.
Can you gently laugh at them after they do it. "Oh you just HAVE to keep reminding us, don't you, dear! <roll eyes, smiley face>. Please pass the meat".
They really are allowed to pray where-ever they want to. Keeping that in mind, you should request that they not push their religion on you. Maybe you could sit down with them when they arrive and set the rules first thing. Tell them that they are his family and you would like to be able to see them and consider them your family too, but you both lead your own lives which you have chosen together. Hopefully they will understand. Although, remember that most people who believe in religion as strongly as they do may feel that you and your family are not leading the right life - So make sure to tell them that although the life you lead may not be what they want, you have the freedom to choose and you and your husband have already decided how you want to live and they should accept you both how you are. Best of luck!
Isnt it amazing how people who are supposed to be christian caring people are so righteous and care little or nothing for others? First of all, stop inviting them. You need to eliiminate this stress from your lives. But since they are with you now, I guess you have to go along with it or else make up a story about how you need to help them find a motel since some other relatives are coming or you are having the kitchen renovated or something. Return to the old rules of ettiquette where people INVITED people over. And dont invite them. No one should be stuck with houseguests they dont like and on this site I see plenty of messages like yours. Its like people dont know how to use their manners anymore and just expect to stay with others.
If you want respect, then you have to be respectfull of others as well. How long can a simple prayer take anyway? Just a few moments of time, & it's harmless, unless you allow it to harm you.
I would let them say their prayer, & then move on.
What's the big deal?
When they prepare to pray, hold up your hand and say Let us pray! Lord, this is my house and my husband and I do not want anyone else praying in here. Thank for hearing our prayer. Amen
Then continue doing what you were doing. They will be in shock and probably will not respond. If they do, they will probably say that they are leaving. Lol
Try for the fun of it.
You and your hubby should explain to his family that it's your home and you two get to choose what goes on in it. Don't forgive them until they apologize to both you and your hubby. You both are adults and should be treated like adults. Good luck.
ya know what a prayer wont hurt anyone so whats the big deal with it they take god out of schools and you see what happens let them pray it wont kill you
your HUSBAND need to talk to his parents and tell them to please keep their religious beliefs to themselves while in his home. if they feel the need to say grace before eating, that's no big thing. and you can join in that without compromising your selves surely? it won't hurt you to let them say grace will it, to keep the peace. you have also to understand it would be hard for them NOT to say grace before eating, if that's what they are used to doing, and it's such a small concession.
simple - when you're an adult in your own home say what you feel - don't be rude but simply say - I'm sorry but NO! this is my home and if you're a guest then behave yourself.