Hi so I'm 14 and it's my mums birthday tomorrow, I have bought her a collectable
Charlie bear (£50) as she collects them and a box of chocolates however my dad has never bought anything for my mum for her birthday!! Not even on the first birthday that they were together, now don't get me wrong my dads a lovely man. But he acts as though he is superior to everyone else. This I think is why he won't buy my mum anything for her birthday because he is the best and therefore people should buy for him and he doesn't return the favour. Anyway I have attempted to fix this, this year as it really upsets my mum so I walked in the snow to buy mum a bouquet of flowers so that my dad could give them but when I told him and asked him to write on the tag he refused. I asked him would he rather see mum upset then give her the flowers and he replied "don't see why not, yeah" anyway I was wondering what I should do?? I really want the flowers to be off him but I cant trick him into signing it can I? I just feel as though I've put in all of the effort !
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Stay out of your parents' marriage. They will not thank you for interfering.
It is good you care about your Mum but in this case I'd stay out of it. This is between your Mum and Dad.
As he has never bought her a gift she is used to it. She might not like it but she should have sorted the issue when they were first married, it is too late all these years later to try and change something overnight. If she really cares about a lack of present, then the two of them need to start talking about it and the lack of respect he is showing by not buying her a gift.
She will love your gift and that will make her happy on her birthday.
you're his lady pal, and what you spot is probably not an entire photograph. Your boyfriend is a youthful guy and in being so would experience he could help his father and mother. not all father and mother are the comparable, yours would be large. no rely how plenty you don't love it, it fairly is as much as him to alter the region. i'd stay out of it. You adult adult males at the instant are not married yet, and he would % them over you if he's pushed problematical adequate. If he have been upset with your father and mother you does not want him interfering. while it is composed of relatives it fairly is only maximum suitable that the guy whose relatives it fairly is, is the only which addresses the situation. i think of the reason you're so annoyed is by using fact it is going to take longer for the two one among you to get married and purchase residing house, and so on...relatively this postpone would be a good factor. you the two are very youthful. 4 years isn't long once you're purely 22. As grown and mature as you would be able to properly be it fairly is nevertheless in all probability extra useful to attend longer any way. attempt to attend and spot, type and loving. If his father and mother are as undesirable you assert, the final factor he desires is so you may be in his ear approximately this, that, and the different. The youthful guy desires peace of innovations. You do too, i'm hoping you do issues on my own purely for your self, little mini getaways. desire you the two plenty success.
Maybe there's a reason you don't know about. Maybe your father has gotten your mother gifts in the past and she hasn't liked them. Don't assume your dad is being "selfish". Don't try to manipulate him into being the kind of person he isn't. Try to find out why he acts this way - it's not normal - but back off if your parents get too sensitive about it, and don't worry about it anymore.
Your 14 years old your parents have probably been married longer than you have been on this earth. Not everyone buys things for their married partner. I have seen a guy buy diamonds for his wife but are not faithful; so presents don't mean a darn thing.
I buy things for my husband and he for me all the year round a holiday shouldn't make you buy gifts for one another when you love each other. Mom however should never buy gifts for him either its a two-way street.
I can really empathise with you. Your intentions and concern for your mother's feelings is lovely. However I doubt you father really will change his ways if after all these years he hasn't. It's a real shame. Have you tried asking your father what is excuse is- his actual reason for not doing it? If he comes up with a decent one I'd be surprised. If you haven't already emotionally blackmail, cajole, and prod him- he might give in if you get too annoying...
If he doesn't cave insist on the future that your mother doesn't buy him anything and he can see how he likes it.
Maybe he doesn't want to have society, or anyone else, dictate to him when he should express affection to his wife. I used to know a man who wouldn't do anything for his wife on valentine's day for that very reason.
Also, stay out of their relationship - it's older than you are, you don't know all the facts even if you think you do.
There is NOTHING AT ALL lovely about your dad. Sorry, but he's an arrogant, unfeeling sub-human freak.
That said, you can't force him to pretend to be human.
Give your mother everything you bought for her. You can't trick your dad into pretending to be a decent, civilized human being.
There's nothing at all lovely about a monster thinking he's better than everyone else.
I am sure you dad must be a lovely man. Most of the men they face problem in expressing their love to the loved ones especially to their partner.
I am sure your dad is one of them. You can send the flower to your mom by writing his name on the tag ,maintain silence after that and let time to flow.
You have interfered in a situation where you should not have done. Your mum and dad where together before you were born so they know each other well and understand what makes each other happy
That sounds textbook. But it's a horrible textbook.
Well, I don't see you changing the lovely man; I think the best you can hope for is that he gives her an excellent roasting/sex session.