LOL!....Ha! I ask myself that question every day! (I teach grades 7, 8 and 9)
It depends on the teen and the situation. Most often, I find that when teens are "sassy", it's because they feel that they are not being listened to. Validating their opinions and feelings will most often encourage better behavior.
When I started teaching, there were two pieces of advice that I got that have proven to be invaluable.
First: Rules without relationship do not work.
If you have not established some kind of a relationship with a teen, expecting them to follow your rules won't work for very long. If you treat them respectfully , REGARDLESS of how they treat you, you will have an easier time getting them to behave. When you treat them well and they act up, your approach can be more like "Do I treat you that way?" (no) "Then why are you being disrespectful to me?" Creating an atmosphere of mutual respect gives you more leverage when you have to correct their behavior.
Two: Think of them as entertainment.
Kids are funny. If you consider their behavior as entertaining instead of taking their actions as a personal attack, you will have an easier time dealing with them. Keeping a sense of humor is KEY to dealing with teen. (trust me...if I didn't laugh all the time...I'd probably cry and end up in the nut house)
Another key point is to make sure that 98% of the time, when you correct a teen for their behavior, you do it PRIVATELY. Calling them out in front of their peers is ASKING for a fight. Pride will keep them from backing down and they will dig themselves into a hole (or in my case, a detention) before they look weak in front of their peers.
Now sometimes, a little embarassment in front of their friends is effective. You have to judge that based on the situation and the individual teens.
I teach my kids that respect is something that you give to ALL people all the time, regardless of who they are AND regardless of how they treat you. I tell them that even if someone treats you poorly, you still need to treat them with respect. Why? Because you don't know what their story is. Their actions might be because of a situation you don't understand.
The example of that was given to me by a former principal. He had a kid in class that was just being a pain in the butt. He sent the kid out of the classroom and followed him out into the hall. He started laying into the kid about his behavior. To his surprise, the kid started crying. His mother had passed away over the weekend and he hadn't told anyone.
After hearing that story, before I being disciplining any of my kids, I always ask them "Is there something going on that I should know about?" Even if there is reason, they still need to understand the consequences. But by allowing them to say how they feel, you validate them. They will be more willing to accept your correction that way.
Make sure that your actions demostrate respect. Make sure that you have made it clear to them what you expect from them in the way of behavior (be clear on the rules and enforce them equally and consistantly) and hold them accountable but correct them privately and respectfully.
If you're dealing with random teens that you don't know, say at the movie theater or mall, approaching them quietly and politely is the best way. If you get a negative response to that, just walk away. It's not worth the argument.
I tell them like it is. Sometimes I think that they just want someone to notice them or care about them. They do outlandish things that seem disrespectful to adults. It's amazing how they react when you say something to them. They're aghast like noone has ever told them how to behave before (which is probably true). If more people would say something to them then maybe they'd start respecting adults, property, etc. Maybe they'd be less of a headache in the classroom & give the teachers a break.
Well, since the only disrespectful teens that I would encounter would be other people's kids, generally I ignore them. I do not feel it is my place or in my interest to try to handle them. It's not against the law to be disrespectful, and kids will be kids. Giving them extra attention for being disrespectful is just feeding their behavior.
I'd sit down with them and have a talk about what respect actually means. Starting with the definition and let them know that when they are respectful towards you and others they actually earn respect back. It's hard not to respect someone who is respectful. Not to mention the priveleges that come with it.
It is also an act of love to respect ones parents and others.
Nobody knows... we have a TV show in Spain about that. It's a psychologist that spends a month at the house with one or more adolescents and tries to educate them and the parents...
be patient my friend... we have all been teenagers...
Have the courage to put them in their places. They are teens......another word for "children". As an adult you owe it to them to teach them some manners.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
LOL!....Ha! I ask myself that question every day! (I teach grades 7, 8 and 9)
It depends on the teen and the situation. Most often, I find that when teens are "sassy", it's because they feel that they are not being listened to. Validating their opinions and feelings will most often encourage better behavior.
When I started teaching, there were two pieces of advice that I got that have proven to be invaluable.
First: Rules without relationship do not work.
If you have not established some kind of a relationship with a teen, expecting them to follow your rules won't work for very long. If you treat them respectfully , REGARDLESS of how they treat you, you will have an easier time getting them to behave. When you treat them well and they act up, your approach can be more like "Do I treat you that way?" (no) "Then why are you being disrespectful to me?" Creating an atmosphere of mutual respect gives you more leverage when you have to correct their behavior.
Two: Think of them as entertainment.
Kids are funny. If you consider their behavior as entertaining instead of taking their actions as a personal attack, you will have an easier time dealing with them. Keeping a sense of humor is KEY to dealing with teen. (trust me...if I didn't laugh all the time...I'd probably cry and end up in the nut house)
Another key point is to make sure that 98% of the time, when you correct a teen for their behavior, you do it PRIVATELY. Calling them out in front of their peers is ASKING for a fight. Pride will keep them from backing down and they will dig themselves into a hole (or in my case, a detention) before they look weak in front of their peers.
Now sometimes, a little embarassment in front of their friends is effective. You have to judge that based on the situation and the individual teens.
I teach my kids that respect is something that you give to ALL people all the time, regardless of who they are AND regardless of how they treat you. I tell them that even if someone treats you poorly, you still need to treat them with respect. Why? Because you don't know what their story is. Their actions might be because of a situation you don't understand.
The example of that was given to me by a former principal. He had a kid in class that was just being a pain in the butt. He sent the kid out of the classroom and followed him out into the hall. He started laying into the kid about his behavior. To his surprise, the kid started crying. His mother had passed away over the weekend and he hadn't told anyone.
After hearing that story, before I being disciplining any of my kids, I always ask them "Is there something going on that I should know about?" Even if there is reason, they still need to understand the consequences. But by allowing them to say how they feel, you validate them. They will be more willing to accept your correction that way.
Make sure that your actions demostrate respect. Make sure that you have made it clear to them what you expect from them in the way of behavior (be clear on the rules and enforce them equally and consistantly) and hold them accountable but correct them privately and respectfully.
If you're dealing with random teens that you don't know, say at the movie theater or mall, approaching them quietly and politely is the best way. If you get a negative response to that, just walk away. It's not worth the argument.
I tell them like it is. Sometimes I think that they just want someone to notice them or care about them. They do outlandish things that seem disrespectful to adults. It's amazing how they react when you say something to them. They're aghast like noone has ever told them how to behave before (which is probably true). If more people would say something to them then maybe they'd start respecting adults, property, etc. Maybe they'd be less of a headache in the classroom & give the teachers a break.
Well, since the only disrespectful teens that I would encounter would be other people's kids, generally I ignore them. I do not feel it is my place or in my interest to try to handle them. It's not against the law to be disrespectful, and kids will be kids. Giving them extra attention for being disrespectful is just feeding their behavior.
I'd sit down with them and have a talk about what respect actually means. Starting with the definition and let them know that when they are respectful towards you and others they actually earn respect back. It's hard not to respect someone who is respectful. Not to mention the priveleges that come with it.
It is also an act of love to respect ones parents and others.
Nobody knows... we have a TV show in Spain about that. It's a psychologist that spends a month at the house with one or more adolescents and tries to educate them and the parents...
be patient my friend... we have all been teenagers...
You allow them room to make mistakes and keep teaching the right from wrong. Hopefully by the time they are 20 they clean up their attitude.
Have the courage to put them in their places. They are teens......another word for "children". As an adult you owe it to them to teach them some manners.
Let them be, only speak kindly when things may go out of hand. Its important to realize thing on your own
Kindness.
learn NLP. Google it.
Kindness can win every time