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She is basically having tantrums. So you have to be firm, but still caring.

"if you are going to act like this, that makes me sad. So you can go into your bedroom and act like this if you choose to, but I don't want to play with you when you are like this."

Don't time it. Every few minutes ask her if she is done and ready to come and play. Point out it's much more fun to play then to act like this.

If she continues to scream, yell, have a tantrum, then inform her you are walking away until she is done. (only intervene if she starts hurting herself. Put her somewhere safe, then leave again).

I throw in there a few times that I love her and want to play with her, but that it makes me sad when she is acting like this so I don't want to play.

Eventually she'll calm down and decide to come out of of her room. (the first few times we did this it took sometimes over 30 minutes). She will realize that it is really boring to act like that (boring to sit in a room by herself). She will stop. Meanwhile you still are showing her she is loved and that you don't hate her. Try also to encourage her to talk to you rather than scream, cry, about what she is feeling.

" I understand you are upset right now, but I can't understand you when you are like this. Please tell me what is wrong so we can talk about it". Big girls talk about it and then mommy and daddy can help you. We can't help you when you are acting like a baby".

Try your hardest not to sink to her level (fight with her like she's another adult) she's four.

Also try your hardest not to resort to tactics such as withholding food, hitting, spanking etc.

Also try your hardest not to give in to her to make it easier for you. It will be harder in the long run. It's cause and effect. Crying = getting what I want. So she will cry more. It actually means she is smart. If Crying now = not getting what I want, being bored, and unsatisfied = she will stop. She'll figure it out that it is not worth it to act like that.

You are teaching her to react to her emotions in a positive way while still maintaining her self esteem and making it clear you love her the entire time. It's hard. It sucks but it will get better. My daughter did it for 6 months around the age of 3 for bath times and going to school. We kept having to repeat it over and over again, now she never has any tantrums and listens very well.

My 8 12 months ancient is the same means. She will get punished (grounded matters taken away) when she does something flawed. Truthfully i am beginning to believe its simply who she is her persona she is a girly lady a hundred%. My advice is to work on the being a brat phase. The high-quality punishment I believe you can supply is to remove some thing designated to the baby (ex. Older children video video games, or more youthful baby favourite doll/toy). That seems to seize my daughters awareness. She has fairly grown out of alot of it. One more proposal is she has a 2yr ancient sister maybe there is a little bit of jealousy happening try having a specified day the two of you. Make a plan to do anything exact and remind her when she acts out now we can not do (anything you pick) for those who do not listen/ smooth/ be imply ect.

I tell my daughter to stop whinging, I simply say no if she whinges over something.

the bottom line is she does it because it works, or at least worked at some point. So you have to let her no that the only response she'll get for that behavior is negative. If she whinges about having to do something say 'you can whinge all you like, but you're still going to do it!' and if she is just generally whingy, send her to her room and tell her she can stay there til she's ready to stop whinging.

Just don't tolerate it, it will lessen in frequency and severity over time.

Unfortunately she has already seen the attention it creates. You mentioned a step father. Many children feel threatened when a parent starts seeing someone besides the other parent. (I know this from experience, I have a stepdaughter that threw a fit when she found out her mother was getting married to me.) Once she realizes that the fussing will no longer bring her attention, it will fade away.

Love her. She is four, for heaven's sake. Teach her how to cope with her emotions so that she can weather the disappointments in her life. Empathize but be firm with your limits. Never change your mind on a limit if she whines or fusses. Realize that this is a developmentally normal stage and labeling her with a pejorative term like "drama queen" for something that is developmentally normal is not helpful and is potentially hurtful to her.

Be calm. Most children do not like when strangers ( her stepfather) move in. It is traumatic. I feel your daughter needs you more than a stepfather and his uneducated family who are not helping but rather hurting the situation. She needs you now to be a beacon of stability, calm, love and protection .there is nothing you can do to change the stepfather and his family. I hope she doesnt have to spend much time with them

Dicipline her. She can't stay a brat all her life. But don't be too strict. She's only a toddler. Also, if she stays to be a drama queen all her life, that will lead to very bad things.

I found a casual, disinterested, "oh" in response to wailing and weeping drama to be very effective.

Parent her better. Discipline, show her that the world doesn't revolve around her, and stop catering to her.