I am a stay at home mom, right now. I am being treated for depression. The medications help, but I feel like I have an out of control temper with my girls. My oldest girl has severe food and insect allergies, which requires a lot of home made everything and anxiety every time she goes outside.
My hubby has been diagnosed with numerous health problems. Which lead us to the decision that I would go back to school and get a degree so if necessary I will be able to support our family. I don't mind working again. I enjoyed my last job very much.
I think all the stress is dog piled on me. I manage the house hold and bills, go to school part time, take care of 3 daughters under 8 years old, have a hubby with health problems, and help my physically handicapped sister (her hubby left her when she became ill.) with her home and son.
I feel like I yell, sometimes scream, all day long at the kids over petty things. I hate it! I don't want them to grow up hating me. I feel like a tyrant in my home. I know it is stress/depression/anxiety, but I feel like it is over the top and unacceptable. Many times I go lock myself in the bathroom and cry.
How do I keep from blowing my top? I try so hard, it just seems to get the best of me so easily. It is frustrating.
I feel like I am a bad mom. I love them more than anything. They probably think I don't love them. It scares me to think what my screaming and yelling does to them emotionally.
Someone tell me what the trick is to controlling my temper, PLEASE! I am desperate!
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
I went through a similar situation with my 2 kids and sister about 6 months ago. At first, I went to the doctor and started being treated for depression and anxiety. It helped a little, but I was still blowing up at my kids and husband for stupid things. I felt awful about it. So I decided that I didnt want to be an angry person towards my family anymore. I started eating better food, healthy food. And started going to the gym every day by myself. Even if Im going to just float in the pool, the hour and a half of alone time really started helping. I get to work out and burn off some frustration and stress, while also having some time to myself to just think things over. Lately, I dont feel the need to freak out over tiny things with my kids, I get along better with my husband and family, and feel more like myself. I even got to start tapering my medications. I dont know if working out would be the option for you, but I think some alone time would help. Good Luck!
It happens to all moms, we all lose our patients at some point. AND we all have felt guilty for the way we've handled situations with our kids. When I feel my patients running thin, I try to think of a few things before I react and scream at my kids 1) how would I talk to any other kid that was not mine to handle this situation. Usually we treat our own kids worse than we would ever consider treating a complete stranger. 2) is the child's behavior typical for the age or is it pure defiance? Typical requires explanation as to why it's wrong. Defiance requires a punishment. 3) Am I upset at the kids because I'm stressed/overwhelmed/depressed or is it because they are misbehaving.
Hopefully you can get yourself to stop and think before you react by yelling or screaming at your kids next time. I wish you and your family all the best!