My father has been diagnosed with Stage IV liver cancer, has undergone 4 surgeries since December, hasn't been working b/c of this, lost his apt and has moved in with me. That's the short version.
Now that he's here, it's been a month and he still has unpacking to do. He literally has 14 boxes of books, 9 boxes of shirts - 2 closets full of pants and jackets - (ETC ETC - you get the idea). I'm not over-exaggerating either. Anyway, it's not that he's not capable, but he's never been a tidy person and would be classified as a hoarder.
I've asked him to get things done, I've offered my help, and although he's made some progress, do I have any rights to "take charge" and start doing it myself?
(My dad's very depressed, has no ambition etc) Am I suppose to remain patient? When diagnosed he was given 3 months w/ no treatment and up to 3 years with chemo. He's on his last dose of chemo next week. Not knowing how long he has to live, should I just let it go?
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i lost my father 3 yrs ago to cancer. it is still hard. he was my hero. Enjoy what time you have left with him.those other things are to small to worry about.Think of him and how he must feel about what he's going thru.Don't sweat little things like that ,enjoy what time is left with him it is precious right now you'll only have regrets later when he's not around then you can fix this small issue.
I would give it until after his last round of chemo before I would push him to do it or take charge and do it yourself. He may be set in his ways about getting things done, but the fact he's facing his mortality has obviously made him depressed. Some people take a positive attitude and others let it consume them. Unfortunately, he may be taking the attitude that well I'm not going to live that long, why should I unpack. He's been through a lot, a diagnosis, having to move, chemo and an uncertain future. I understand it's frustrating for you to have disorder in your home, but he'll have a better outlook when the doctor tells him he is in remission.
yes let it go as your father is very ill indeed. my relo just died of this once they turn yellow in the skin it is near the end and that is the sadest thing to watch and be with them , but remeber to share happy moments together so you both have happy memories . as when the time comes you will remember him when you took him for a picnic and took photos and just sat and had a beer and laughed about old memories. it may be months or years or even days. but make his last memories worth living. you know. make a special place and go and enjoy life. take care and its ok for him to be a hoarder it is his stuff. when he has passed it is someone elses.he is very very ill i hope he gets better my thoughts are with you both.
I am very sorry to learn of your Father's illness. Having lived with and loved someone in a similar circumstance, I know exactly where you are coming from. I came to understand that a person with such a critical health condition does not have the physical or mental strength to handle such everyday task. My advice to you would be to make his living conditions as comfortable as possible and "just let it go".
I'm sorry to hear this. If I were you, I wouldn't bother him with the cleaning, I would start doing it myself. Maybe a clean room would make him happy, and forget about the illness for a second. If you think it is worth making your father a little happy than you can start unpacking.
I can't really imagine how hard it must be for you.
Take care.
Let him leave his things in boxes.
He is elderly & ill.
There are bigger things to worry about than whether
or not he leaves his things in boxes.
The less he takes out...the less mess you have to clean up.
Do things with him & other family members.
Spend time taking pictures.
Time is priceless where your dad is concerned. He does not
have much of it.
Best wishes