So, I lost contact with my parents about 8 months ago. My life was falling apart, I'm 25, and didn't want them to watch me fall apart again. So, I cut myself off from them with the intent of getting in contact when I had figured things out a little bit. Time went by....a few days turned into a few weeks turned into a few months. And now its been 8 months. My mom got into contact with my best friend and told her my dad has taken ill. What do I do? I desperatly want to be there, my dad has been such an important part of my life, but I've been absent from their lies for 8 months. How can I explain this situation? What do I say? I did what I thought was best for all of them, just leaving them alone while I was all screwed up and trying to straighten stuff out. But now, I realize I lost valuable time with my dad. I don't know how serious things are, she just told my friend that he had taken ill and was home from the hospital now. I don't know what to do. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I don't know what I would do if he died or something and I didn't get the chance to say that I'm sorry and I love him. I'm very scared. Please help....
Update:I know I need to go see him. I don't doubt that. And its not about needing to swallow my pride and 'fess up that what I did was stupid and childish and that I shouldn't have cut them out of my life. Its....how do I justify walking out of their lives? How do I explain to them, and maybe moreso to myself, that now he's sick, and I wasn't there while he was healthy? I have no idea how serious things are, I don't know what to expect, and maybe I lost out on 8 months of Dad being Dad. What if its too late? What the hell have I done? I feel so incredibly selfish and stupid and seirously regret ever thinking I was making anything better by going away. And, to make matters worse, I lost my freaking address book with their phone numbers in it, they don't have a home phone so I can't call information, so the best I can do is a random drop by and just have everything all at once. I'm scared of losing him. I'm scared that I may have already lost him. Its 3AM, I'm crying like an idiot and alone...
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GO BACK i just lost my dad 2 months ago from lung cancer and i wasn't in contact with him as much as you seem to be with your dad i only knew him for about a year but all i can think about now is why i didn't try to be there sooner and spend more time with him just tell him whats going on and he will totally understand don't walk away now cause you will regret it forever
Please Go To Him NOW ! ! ! !
Since you so desperately want to be with him but at the same time, you are not sure if you should still keep your (physical?) distance from your parents, one practical thing that you could at least do is to give them a phone call. At least, you will know if this helps make you feel lighter and more peaceful. If it does, you might then consider dropping by and pay them a visit. If it doesn't, well use you judgment on whether you still want to keep some time apart. At least, you will not have to live with regrets in future for failing to do something you feel you should have done.
You seem to have been through a lot, and that's fine - you did whatever you did because you felt that was best for everyone, & I am pretty sure that you are not alone in this case. Maybe your parents can understand that - do you really think they want to hear an explanation from you? I am pretty sure they want you to be with them more than anything, or else you mom wouldn't have tried to get in touch with you again. You don't have to say or explain anything if you don't feel like it.
Good luck.
Listen, you have done nothing wrong. You know your dad wouldnt of wanted to see you like that, and no one can say if what you've done was for the better or the worst because no one knows what could have happened if you'd stayed. If your parents were in your heart you never walked out on them, you needed a break and wanted to sort yourself out and thats perfectly understandable.
All you need to do is go and see your parents and explain it like you have explained to us. If we can see your sorrry and you regret everything im sure your dad can to. Your parents will know you havent walked out on them because your sick of them, or you hate them. Its not like that. You need your family, your family need you. Your mums going to want your support. Dont regret something if you did it for the best. I would have probably done the same thing :) Please dont feel guilty, its all okay you love them and theyll love you. Dont waste any more time dwelling, and go and see your dad xD The biggest get well gift you can give to him is you :)
Just like you said,he might die and you will never get the chance.You have a good heart and you care.The best thing would be for you to do is go to your fathers home.Walk in ,say hello,give the biggest and tightest hug to you dad ever.Why do you think your mom told your friend about your dad?She wants you there.Go and see your parents.If asked,do your best to explain yourself.Do not turn your back on your parents.They gave you life and much more.
I am a new mother so i can still see it from your point of view and i can see it from your parents.That is your father your speaking of.Obviously this is a wake up call.GO SEE HIM!!!!! If you are honest with both of your parents they will mostly accept that you chose to do what you did but not so much as understand because they could of helped you with dealing with your situation My mother was in the hospitol and i almsot lost her.It was a blessing in disguise because at that time i too had strayed away from my family and that brought me back. And since my relationship with my mother has gotten so strong.God forbid something happens to either one of them you will never be able to live with yourself. Go see both of them they probibly miss you very much.
My mother passed away when I was five. If I was in your situation, I would swallow your pride, and go home. I know that you will have alot of explaining to do, but they will understand, they are your parents. If something were to happen to your father and you didnt get to say goodbye, you would never forgive yourself. Loosing a parent isnt easy as it is, i count imagine having that extra guilt. Im not trying to make you feel bad, im just trying to make you realize that you need to go home. Explain to them that you were going through alot, and didnt want them to see you like this. They will understand. If they dont, then atleast you tried, and atleast you got to see them atleast one more time. Good Luck
Listen very carefully!!! Your parents love you unconditionally regardless to what you've done....TRUST ME!!! In a hard time as now with your Dad ill and all, the best thing for you to do is go to him. Whatever happened in the past is just that.......THE PAST. You will not be able to live with the guilt if he were to be called home by our loving Creator and it was something you had the power to change and chose not to. Please do the right thing and see your parents, they were young once too!
There is never a better chance than now! Just be honest and tell him how much you love him. You dont have to tell them everything just tell them you needed to figure some things out on your own.
Yh, maybe you don't want your parents to worry about you a lot, but I do think it's stupid, what if your dad..., you'll be gulity for all your life.
Come on, you don't need to carry on all the burdens, you also need some one to hear you. Your parents will offer their help.
You must go back immediately. Probably your father is ill, thinking about you. Once he sees you, in what ever shape you are, I am sure he will improve and then probably you all can work together to improve upon the existing scenario.