A couple of years ago I briefly (about 2 months) and casually dated a co-worker (which is not prohibited in my office). It ended badly (for him: I stopped seeing him to date the man who is now my husband). I haven't had any real contact with him for years, but as of a week ago, we now work in the same office suite. There are three offices in the suite that a total of 6 people share. I get along with everybody in my suite, and so does he. My problem is this: He is making the work environment extremely uncomfortable. For example, he will laugh and joke with people, offer to get coffee for everyone, etc... When I walk into the suite, he gets this look on his face, shuts down, and disappears into his office. It casts a pall on everyone and everything. Almost every co-worker has approached me and asked what's going on and I told them. I have been nothing but friendly and professional while he turns into a brooding child. I tried to resolve the issue by sending him a short email that basically just said that we don't need to be friends, but we do have a responsibility to everybody's professional environment to remain cordial. He never responded and it never improved. I am not sure what to do. Taking this to somebody higher up would only make me look difficult, so that's not an option... and transferring into a different suite is impossible at this point. I know I need to do something quickly because this is distracting and uncomfortable...
Please no lectures about how it's a bad idea to date someone at your office. I was 23 at the time and have since gotten married. Also - please try to be constructive - no mean sh*t.
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Haha I wasn't going to give you a lecture. Some of the most successful married couples met at their place of work, so that's nothing to be ashamed of. But if he's being difficult, you should try talking to him face to face, if you haven't already. That way, it's not like the email, where you won't get a reply. He'll have no choice than to talk to you. Tell him that you at least wanted to be civil, not just for professional reasons, but because you thought you guys could be civil and that if what you had together meant anything, he'd want the same. Say you're sorry if how things ended hurt him, but that that wasn't your intention at all, but you don't want the past to complicate the present. Hope that helps and all the best!
Honey don't pay attention to him unless it is work related. He is the one acting weird not you. He more than likely wants any type of attention that you give to him.Let him look like a fool. If not he is just gonna drive you crazy. Don't let him do that.
yes its easy to ask him for a coffee because him he can chat to some work mate there like the men in the office, he can tell them that do you know mrs.................... yes i shaged her long time and every one in there are waiting to see. whats next it only women that hide these storys but men just go like i shaged her four rounds and she couldnt see for 10 min the next morning and every one will be like hahaha trust me some men are dirty its only women that dont chat like men. so now its good to speak to him and tell him not to panic and chat normal, and tell him you married and him if he is not married be carefull because some men can shag agirl for ever even if she get married so tell him you cant mix because he is low class and your hasband is real man
just try and ignore him :) good luck xx