My husband and I have been visiting our only child in the US for the past 5 months.
We are heading back overseas next week to go back to our place over there.
The problem is I feel torn in two, want to stay with my son and also am ready to get back to my life.
Our son, doesn't help my emotions very much, he is saying little things that make me feel quilty to leave him alone in his big house.
He is 36 years old but so spoiled, he usually has a girlfriend around when we are not with him.
His fiance is still in Japan, we expect her to arrive in the US within a couple of months if all goes well.
In the mean time, I worry like many mothers do, what will he do all by himself, he isn't handy with anything and never wanted to learn how to run a home or cook a meal for himself.
He wants me to stay on longer with him but my husband wants me to return home with him.
It isn't easy to try and please two people so important in your life.
I know I will be heading back overseas but how can I get my heart to stop breaking over my son and his lonely situation?
He has no friends around him, not a very social person.
I know he is a bit old for me to worry about every little thing but still...
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
I know how you feel, I have a son that age. You go ahead and worry all you want, but your son is grown, and IMHO your first thoughts should be of your husband now. Your life is with him, not your son.
Besides, your son needs to build his own life. You don't want to be an enabler.
You never stop being a mother. Mine is 45, successful, and I think about his asthma. Yours will come to the decision that it's time to find friends, cook and maintain that big home. The time will come. He will click right into it, but he has to do it himself. ['Course you know that.] Mine is also my only. Five months is a long visit, and it might be time before you leave to tell him you may have done him a disservice not forcing him how to become handy, run a home and cook. Tell him there are resources online to learn how, and bygod to go out to a bar one night, have a few, and have a conversation. Push him a little. Our job was to shove them out of the nest, even if they weren't ready, remember? Yep, it was, so stick up your chin, get your eye contact, and tell him it's time. You can cry over it later. He'll love you for it when he's 37.
First response was, yeah. That's why I moved away from them.
Yes..go home with your husband
I'm sure your son will be well taken care of
Quote:
"he usually has a girlfriend around when we are not with him.
His fiance is still in Japan,
hmmm....
Go home with your husband. It's grow up time for your son.
He is a 36 year old bachelor.. I think that somehow he will get through it. But it is nice that he has a mother that cares about him and thinks about him.. Write, call, and E mail often..it will be just fine.
Yes, what would happen God forbid, something happen to you? He would be forced to live without his mom around.He has to find how to carry on.You know, no matter how old our kids are they are and always be our babies.We just can't treat them as one. Part of a mom's job is pushing them out of the nest. We do them no service by clipping their wings. Love him always.Go home.
Tell your son to grow up.
I don't think we are doing any favors to our children to allow them to remain dependent on us when they are grown
Not
sure
hmm?
I'm
a
son
myself.
hmm?