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ehh..its a little cliché again

why don't you look at this for inspiration?

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Nice

Hi!

The whole idea and image is nice, but 'I think' the 'dove' is hackneyed in poetry! 'You died for me' is not interesting at first glance, but when we come to the next line, '...I could be [sin-free]', becomes very beautiful!

I, for one, LIKE IT!

Nice! I like it