Verified answer

1. My ethnic heritage between my adoptive and biological families is nearly identical: Swedish/Irish-American + ???? vs. Swedish/Scottish-American vs. British/Greek-American. The socioeconomic culture was: my mom came from the 1% and married my dad from the lower middle class. Together they were upper middle class. My biological family was in extreme poverty. Both my birth mom and adoptive dad, in addition to coming from strong Swedish-American, Midwestern roots, came from immigrant farmers. I do not know my birth dad's heritage at all, but I have one child who, inexplicably, appears to be biracial! I married a Danish/Dutch/French-American from a poor, rural family.

I know my birth mother and we have issues. She is 57 years old. After years of sobriety, she is facing prison time for her third narcotics charge in as many years, and I find myself writing to judges to keep her out of prison. She does not actually talk to me, other than to post sweet things on my FB wall when she's feeling contrite. I do not know if this plays a part in my loyalty to my family.

2. Divorce rates among adoptees -- I imagine adoptees have trouble sometimes with commitment. I'm only 40 and have been married almost 20 years, and that is longer than either of our sets of parents. But I also suffered early (age 16) mother loss in my adoptive mom and that might make me hold on stronger. I'm not sure. I would imagine adoptees who came from orphanages and foster care, who had trouble with reactive attachment disorder and similar, would have more serious marriage issues.

3. I have three biological children and we would love to adopt from foster care. Ideally, a 7-10 year old girl who would be a close sibling with our 9 year old son, due to the fact that our older children are seven and ten years OLDER than he is and will be moving out soon, leaving him alone. He would be a wonderful brother, and we long to give to a child.

Also, the particular situation makes a difference. My college roommate was adopted at age 1-2 by her aunt and uncle after her mother died, and then had two younger sister/cousins who look just like her. She assimilated nearly perfectly into the family because she was raised by her mother's biological sister.

My bff from kindergarten on was adopted at birth, similar to me, and he is devoted to his adoptive parents, has no desire to see his birth family, and has never married in spite of being very attractive and a pilot in southern California! His younger sister has been married several years and has two small children with a man who does not share her values, nor does he help support the family. She also knows her birth mother and they have issues.

Another male bff was adopted at age 5 with his 3 year old brother. He remembers his birth mom and grandmother and is at peace with the fact that they gave a gift by putting the boys into the "system" and not continuing to attempt to raise them. He is also very devoted to his adoptive parents, did not get married until his 40s, but has had five children with three different women, none of whom are with his wife of 1.5 years.

Another adopted male in his 40s I know is a successful doctor. He had sweet, wonderful adoptive parents as far as I know, and a wonderful younger sister (their biological child). He has no interest in meeting his birth family. He left his first wife for his second. They have three children and seemed to have a happy marriage. However, I believe they are now separated due to a child endangerment incident he had, of which he as convicted. I have no idea if his adoption affected any of this behavior.

I can only base my answers on adult adoptees that I know since I am unaware of any comprehensive studies.

First, you have to understand that there are higher rates of mental illness among adoptees. It could be because they are adopted. It could be because of why they were placed for adoption (mother is mentally ill, on drugs, etc.). This alone would result in a lower rate of marriage among this group, but not necessarily because they were adopted.

For the same reason, it wouldn't surprise me if the divorce rate was higher among adoptees. It's much harder to live with someone who is bipolar or hyperactive, for instance.

Assuming that this adoptee doesn't have any special background issues though, I don't think they are any worse off than any non-adoptee. However, they won't be joining sites such as ancestry.com since it makes no sense to do so.

The only thing that is different, that I can see, is that 'old money' families would discourage their adult children from marrying adoptees. Since they also discourage their adult children from marrying anybody from other than a wealthy family, I wouldn't take that to heart. Also, adoptees tend to have parents who are older, which may limit family emotional support. If you are having marital problems, it's hard to get support from your mom who is in her 70s in failing health.

I will answer this question besed on my son.

He is white British and his girlfriend is Philipino. They have a son and she has a daughter from a previous relationship. They haven't adopted.