My father is incredibly temperamental and cranky. I'm sixteen years old, I work part time, and am an average student. With that meager ammount of information, my father can beat down upon me a waterfall of insults.
When he's not home, everything is OK, my mom is happy and I try to help out with chores and siblings. But when my dad comes home from work agitated, everyone seems to get verbally abused or blamed for one thing or another. Then the whole family is so tightly wound up, that the recoil is worse then getting snapped with a rubber band. In general, he has no patience and is incredibly cranky; he's a damned short fuse.
He harps on me for just about everything, and compliments me only when I look good (he's already made it quite clear without having to say too much that with my grades, I won't be getting anywhere. I'll need to rely on my looks) or come home from a long day of work, then he says he's proud about what a good job I have and how I can begin to hold my own now.
He rarely speaks well about me in front of company and family, mainly my brother and sister keep the spotlight at dinner. I sort of feel like that's because I'm a disappointment, but I think he's made me feel like that and I also think it comes out in my grades. Thanks to the way he talks down to me, I am unmotivated most of the time.
I'm a good kid, but he makes it seem like I'm a bad one. I don't drink, I don't break curfew, I don't do drugs, I don't sneak out, I'm not a public delinquent and I don't have sex. I'm single with a small group of friends that I rarely hang out with anyway.
For instance, I tried to help move his desk in the basement while he was working, and I think I may have broken his computer some how. He came home, and he unfurled a load of blames and anger onto us. I think his anger stems from disappointment with his life in general-he hates his job and sometimes I think he wished he could live one of those story book lives, you know... The ones with a golden lab, a perfect family, and a white picket fenced home.
I want to stay home for college but he's already asked me to leave a few times. He's a good man, I know what I'm saying isn't making it sound like he is, but he's just on edge most of the time and it's getting worse with age.
Is there any way I can simply avoid these horrid confrontations? I fight back a lot too because if I don't, he keeps going like a broken record, hounding me until I break down. I find when I bite my tongue I get very aggressive and leash out to the people that deserve it the least. :[
Update:I don't get hit. At all.
It's more of a verbal thing then being hit or threatened. He doesn't threaten me much. O_O
I feel really sorry for you xxsar, I think you should go to child services and save yourself. O_O
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wow...this is exactly how things were at my house when i was your age. I am much older now and still feel like a disappointment to him at times, but no where near how mean he was growing up.
I'm sorry, I dont know what to tell you. I just lived with it and suffered, and I'm not sure what i could have done differently. He had to change on his own. I'm sorry, keep being a good kid and try to realize, its him. Maybe if he knew how bad he was hurting you he would stop. He's disappointed in himself, Somebody hurt him really bad and he's taking it out on you. I know this pain... and I commend you on being so mature! You dont sound hateful and bitter, you sound like a great kid who is hurting. you will make it through this stronger!
I'm sorry, i wish i had advise. Hang in there please!
Im crying right now, no lie. Im crying because i thought you were talking about me, my dad is the same way, he used to hit me. You see, my parents are '' divorcing '' and I have to live w/ him and my brother. He always blames me and yells at me for everything. I failed 3 classes because I have to cook, clean, laundy. No studying time. He doesn't let me see my mom, and just June 27 my mom arranged to pick me up for the summer, ( not my brother, he has summerschool because lack of studying) he wouldnt let her pick me up, and I called the cops + he pulled a huge lie and said my mom abandoned us, never payed child support, even though my moms the one who buys everything for me, my dad spends like $500 a year on me while my mom spends like 100 every 2 days, )im not trying to sound spoiled im using that as a comparison ) I told the cops, i hated my dad, he hit me, and Im scared of him.
REASONS WHY IM SCARED.
1. he always stares at my boobs. He asked if i have a bra on ?
2. He told me if i dont cook hes gonna smash my head in a wall
3. he hits me infront of my friends.
+ many more.
he gets mad so easily. I CANT DEAL W/ IT ANYMORE
Im here w/ you. If you need to talk email me.
REMEMBER.
Jesus is always there for you.
Just ask him to come into your heart if not already done so, and pray everyday to let his will be done.
God Bless + Hang in there
PS. Email me for a prayer and to talk ( advice)
that shound EXACTLY like my life except my dad acts like he hates me and my sister.talks down to me and says i will never make it and stuff like that. i also try to bite my tongue and the same thing happens. when school was going and he was home in the mornings he would get me so angry that in school im now known as a b****
i don't kno wat to tell ya my momma is the same way, my daddy isd dead so its just me her and my younger bros and ou grandma, i used to feel that way, no i don't give a f- ck, i'm 17 now and about to be 18 in 5 months, so all i can tell ya is wait it out till ur 18, or move in wit family if u got some where u live-good luck
can anyone help answer mine
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ajz1i...