This is my first poem since grade school. I feel it is clustered. Could you give me tips or advice? And feedback- let me know how you feel about it. Okay here it is.
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There lived a silly little girl
Who was faced with the problems of the world
Hunger and poverty, racism and bullying
She saw the world was a sick place
Not one for a girl like her
Glittering eyes full of smiles is what they saw
But this little girl is easy to believe
Way deep down inside they will find there was something much more
Could they not see it?
Could they not hear it?
With the limp in her step
And crackle in her voice
They were clueless
Now as she ages she sees the flashbacks of her past
She hid it all so well
Was that good?
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That's where I stopped should that be the end or should I add more? I can't think of anything else right now. Please give me some feedback! Thanks so much guys.
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Answers & Comments
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Great poem! It's interesting, and I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think it's lovely. Much better than I could do.