Hi, I'm 14 years old and I made this poem about a confused relationship. I just made it quickly, sorry that its so bad. Tell me what you think, thanks.You need me more than ever, to ease away the pain.But I'm unsure of what to do, I cant just leave you in the rain.If I deny you, you might cut your time short.So I'm staying by your side, but I need your full report.Even though you need me, trust is what you lack.If you are unfaithful then I will leave, never looking back.Stay strong young soldier, we'll get threw this together.I told you that I'm here, a promise means forever.. Created by A poetic disaster**. arts-humanities-en - poetry-en

i really like it i think it sounds great :) its not at all bad :)

I made a poem, what do you think?

A poetic disaster** @A poetic disaster**

May 2021 4 60 Report

I made a poem, what do you think?

Hi, I'm 14 years old and I made this poem about a confused relationship. I just made it quickly, sorry that its so bad. Tell me what you think, thanks.

You need me more than ever, to ease away the pain.

But I'm unsure of what to do, I cant just leave you in the rain.

If I deny you, you might cut your time short.

So I'm staying by your side, but I need your full report.

Even though you need me, trust is what you lack.

If you are unfaithful then I will leave, never looking back.

Stay strong young soldier, we'll get threw this together.

I told you that I'm here, a promise means forever.

Arts & Humanities / Poetry

nemesis

The theme is fine.

It expresses all the inter-dependence of a confused/uncertain relationship - as in "I'll be as strong as I need to be - so long as you can trust in me".

Not original - but well expressed nevertheless - for someone aged 14.

You admit it's a poem you composed quickly - and apologise for it being "so bad".

Which of course reflects the very uncertainty the poem itself expresses.

If feelings and words come to you naturally, quickly - I'd suggest you carry on the good work - let it flow.

And practise, practise, practise.

A lot of it might be dull, repetitive or rather naiive - if you find yourself hemmed in - rhyming "time short" with the rather awkward "full report".

(If it was me - I'd think more in terms of "last resort" )

But bear in mind 8 lined rhyming couplets need not hem you in anyway. If you have a natural sense of the rhythm of words - let them flow - you might well develop much more intricate ways of making them reflect your feelings.

Read as much poetry as you can - not to copy/imitate - but to discover the various ways in which thoughts can be expressed in so many different ways - as music does, in rap, jazz or anthems.

Good luck to you.