Two years ago I badly pinched a nerve in my lower back and had to be hospitalized. I had 6 x-rays done and was given three different medications for pain and nausea. I felt pain for over a month afterwards. Since then, every time I wash the dishes my back gets a shooting pain again and I have to stop. I feel if I continue or do this regularly my back will mess up again and I'll have to go through the whole process again.
I keep reminding my father of this when he asks me to do the dishes. For a few months I did do them, but the pain got worse each time and now I just don't want to risk it. He calls me a disrespectful child (I'm 24 though) and says it's just an excuse so I don't have to work. That I'm making myself out to be an invalid. Why does he act like this? Is it his generation? (He's 65.) He accuses me of the pain not being real and it's all a mental thing so I can 'be lazy'. So then he goes on a 20 minute rant of how he'll never cook again for the family.
This happens all the time.
Update:"why do you still live at home?"
Because of today's economy. Do you know how difficult it is for a college graduate to live on their own right now? I'm saving up money to move out.
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Your dad knows you better than any of us ever can so, I have to think he knows what he's talking about when he refers to you as "disrespectful" and taking advantage of your ailment to get out of doing your fare share around the house.
Respect is something we earn and apparently you still owe something on that account.
Instead of medication, try a chiropracter. It may help get pinched nerves to move away from where they are getting pinched. I use one for my back problems all the time, however it does no good if you have a damaged disc in your back, that is when surgery and medication come into play. A damaged back never heals itself and surgery is only a 50/50 change it will or will not help. Won't make excuses for you dad.
i do not know if your pain is real or not. there are people who will only accept medical conditions if they can actually see an injury or illness. perhaps your dad is one of those. i suffer from sever back pain if i stand for even 5 minutes but if i sit while doing chores i can do a lot. if this does not work and your pain is real, get a letter from your doctor to your dad explaining your condition. why do you still live at home? maybe dad is overwhelmed caring for the family. do what you can around the house. maybe you can agree to do different chores that do not hurt. and maybe physiotherapy could help you.