The dim lighted room set the right mood for the young love birds. The blonde girls eyes were focused on her true lovers deep chocolate brown eyes. The Brown eyed girl stared at the blonde haired girl's sea blue eyes. The chirping of near-by crickets and the "who-ing" of Owls were no match of the heart throbbing loudness of their hearts. Each of the girls were nervous. The blonde girl went for a kiss, but the Chocolate brown eyed girl hesitated only for a minute. Then she also went for a kiss and then everything went silent, for the passion of their kiss shut down all the people that doubted their love, who said that love should be between a Man and a Women, but none of that mattered. For love should be between not only male and female but for all genders for love should be based on "Love" and not gender.
Answers & Comments
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No offense, while your paragraph has a somewhat of a strong and valid point, it is a minefield of grammatical errors and poor usage of the English language. I assume you wrote this more to prove a point to anybody that reads it more than as a serious paragraph for any paper or book, however it is easier for people to take you seriously and accept your argument if it is written and organized professionally and easy to understand.
It seems that it's not so much about wanting a review of the writing as much as it is about making a statement and I agree with that statement.
Good luck =)
very muddled and you use too many cliches but what's to be expected from romance writing?
in terms of the genre it is probably decent work
too many details. and it should be "hoo-ing"