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I'm going to be honest. The paragraph itself is fine. But an introduction should introduce your topic. We don't know what the question you are answering is. We don't know what novel you are talking about. We don't know who Betsie is.

An introduction should tell a reader who has no idea what your paper is about a good idea what you are referring to.

Ex. In the book ----the main character is a woman named Betsie. Throughout the book she proves to be the most influential leader because of her many strong traits and characteristics.

Betsie is a compass...

Something like that. I hope this helps, I truly do not mean to be critical, but constructive.

No, it doesn't work as an intro paragraph... and I'm guessing you do mean the start to a longer piece. A novel. You can't get away with saying you're writing a novel when I think you are wanting to write it from the point of view of someone who knows Betsie.

And the grammar will have to be worked on some more. It's not clear whether it's God or Betsie who witnesses, for example. And of course by 'trails' you meant 'trials', probably a typo...

However a first paragraph must make a reader hungry to read more, not tell them the whole story. The only instances in which one needs to tell the whole story right away is in journalism, and then it's all to be hit on in the first sentence.

But not for a novel. Find a compassionate yet critical reader if you can... a friend who will act as editor for now, or a family member; and keep working on it. Looks to me like you already have a readership in mind, and like Betsie's life story needs to be told.

Good luck, and keep up the writing, always... don't listen with all your ears to one critic only!

Does your reader already know who Betsie is, meaning is this an intro to a book report of sorts or is this an intro to a story of your own?

"God is at the core of her life and shares her faith to anyone who will lend an ear." This sentence reads a little funny to me. It seems as though you are saying that God shares faith, not Betsie. I think you need to add the word "she" in between and/ shares.

If this is an introductory paragraph for a paper, it needs work. You must always state the title of the work you are writing about, and the writer of the work. For example: The character Hermione Granger is the voice of reason and major source of information in J.K. Rowling's <i>Harry Potter</i> series.

The paragraph you have here works better as a conclusion.

It is a good introduction. Just change trails to trials.

A paragraph must have only one idea.

eh, needs more oomph